dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
