I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
