Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
