i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
