I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she pinky promised me she was 18
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
