yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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