His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize