She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
