I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
