Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
