Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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