The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
