I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
