sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
do nipples grow back?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize