your room smells of hookers.
And success
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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