sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
