i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
