Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
