dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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