Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
