It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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