Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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