Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
