Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
