I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
