Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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