The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
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The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
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If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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