I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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