There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
