I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
