i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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