And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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