You're my little dorito
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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