My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
