Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
