Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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