just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
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I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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