FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize