it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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