ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
