He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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