so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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