Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize