It's like God shit irony all over that family
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
