no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
