the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
