I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
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Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
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I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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