I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
