I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
