He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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