What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize