I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
its liver damage thursday
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
