1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
