I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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