Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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