he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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