TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
