I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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