i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
