As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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