I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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