Umm I'm too high to move.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize