Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The chlamydia really affected his face.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
