you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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