How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We need a shit load of segways right now
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
